Anna-why do you say that? Yawn, just needed to tell somebody something. It can wait till, stretch again, Monday?

well that’s my knew motto…yawn.
I figured out one more thing about men- the left right thing REALLY DOES MATTER….yeaaaaaaah.

Mistakes-Lesley

Only come from one thing
Trying

If you were trying something evil
Then your mistake
makes out that way

If you were trying
and it doesn’t go forward
That day

Only time says

Mistakes are inevitable

All the Things I Hear-Lesley

It’s not rain falling,
These trees are being preserved to die.
I don’t get it;
I don’t want to face the danger,
With all the browned out,
Lullaby.

In My Ears-Lesley

 

In my ears

To swallow

Wish I could be a bird

 

Compelled to call out perpetually

And eat living things that crawl

 

Then I could rid the world of evil

But only law does that when it can

 

Circumstance is unavoidable

When you are a worm

RAPACITY-Lesley

Rapacity

Can one imagine what one word says?

Pretty sure it has pants’ lengths versus,

Skirts,

 

Render everything then

The earth,

 

Problem from me so

I sag,

 

Figuring blame

Somebody in the

Lag====

Oh well

 

Water creeps up

Even where

It ain’t needed

 

Then the power

Of showers feed

It

 

That lonesome

Dove

Making miracles from

 

===it’s credence

What Should You Keep-Lesley

So lately I have started another handwritten diary to my children, kinda like a reflection of my life, my awareness of lessons I’ve learned that they may or may not glean anything from.
     In last night’s entry I said that there are many things I remember about growing up, every strong moment that my parents gave me to become myself, even the shrug of the shoulders when I made mistakes (though those shrugs came with help out of the hole I created if I needed it) the experiences with adventure and such.
     I said, yes, there are many things that I truly appreciate about my parents and how they supported my whims and ways that let me know it was okay to be me, even in my strangeness, yet, what I wish I could have done the most is capture all the many many many times we laughed.
      I wrote that they were such wits as to inspire that in my sister and I.
I DO…I wish I could have captured those times to look back on and appreciate over and over again. There are special ones in my memory, yet there are plenty more where I really do not know what was said and I see us all cracking up; I cry out, “I want to unlock this fucking converstion….I want to be in this conversation again”.
      My childhood was spectacular, inspiring, motivating, and supportive, it made me jump boundaries when I became older that women were still held under in the 80’s and 90’s(even today) and most of all it made me awe at both of my Father and Mothers’ brilliance and humor.
     My Mom thinks she isn’t as funny as us three….but ironically she is…one of the memories about mom that can truly crack me up every time I think about it is when I am pointing fingers and cussing up a storm in high school…at both of them…and I can see the rage in her building until she blurts out…”DO YOU HAVE TO SWEAR LIKE THE REST OF THE GODDAMN ASSHOLES” ….see what I mean?…the room went silent…we all sat there for a moment contemplating her words and all of a sudden all the teenage/parents’ bullshit was gone….and soon after, we laughed for a long long while.

Saturday Morning 1970-Lesley

I live far, far away from my dad

(and my mom)

But I think he chose

to wrestle exotic snakes.

Now that I think back.

 

She was probably mad,
because she felt exotic too.

 And seasons that

I did not understand.

I will only remember that morning for what

It is.

 

 

Learning-Lesley

When you are young,
there seems a million ways,
to everything.
Are you at 50(?), half as many.

Reach one hundred,
Still could be something different
at least once. Yeaaaaaaaah.

I workin’ to be there.

Ode to John Updike-mama mama mia mama mom just be there if you do not mind-Lesley

Meeee maaaa mima my mia no naaaaa no anybody
just me I think…
I think that has it pretty straight
For now

Could go to
any possibilities
damn-it,
are:

See bueno see- si estar
Yuesssss
yeh bueno
po,
Right,
Right,then left,
po’

Si beuno,
forgot about them too,

Crap,

there must be…
somehow,
someway,
to put it
Together?

I think our children will all say,

Gotta
Go to0 far
“GaaaaaaatttttaaagggO…”
See it’s easy

when it’s put in to words,
yeaaaaaaaaaaah,
MAMAMAAAAAmAAAAAMMMMMMAAAAAMAAAAAMAMAAMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA