This called life and love. -Anna

I sit in this car. As the wheels turn, I sit. Their mouths move but I cannot hear them. The speakers play, loudly, these songs, these truths.
Everything around me doesn’t feel real. I’m stuck. Forbidden to leave. All I can think about is what may have happend…? Can it be fixed? Is this what I really wanted? Did I make a mistake?
All I can see is your face. All I can feel are butterflies.
Are they of disgust, torture, anxiety or just my nerves?
I tried to wait. Then I got wrapped up in something new. It failed. So there I was, stuck.
I waited. I tried to keep waiting. That’s all I’ve ever done. That’s all I know.
So I wait and see.
I hope and pray this is what I need.
Confusion will always be on my mind. On my shoulder. That’s what makes these things so difficult. This life. This love.
I know I’ll miss your touch, your sense of appreciation, your smile. I’ll miss you.
Why is life so unfair as to give me two of the one thing I’ve always wanted?
I hit a fork in this scary road.
So, is it to the left or the right?
Maybe I’ll stick with the middle……….

Lithesome Tag-Lesley

The truth is that verse in Ephesians 5 recognizes the differences in males and females in Christian marriage and assigns different roles for. I really like this poem because it is the description between the differences in each for thoughts on romantic sex.

It’s A

Lithesome Tag

 

No one locates it deep inside

It’s just yours

They can’t find it

Even if they look

Yet, it’s pliant

 

Then one day some

Bee’s wondering ways

come round

Old in town

Knows where to

Shake it up

 

Bring you out

Find the spot that

Seems to hide

Just enough

To keep you

Confiding

in your place,

Your mark

 

There he flies

Bending

For you

Saying the words that

Connect

In the dark

With your eyes

Closed

And he doesn’t even have wings

 

Yeah…

 

No moon light

To show you

Anything

 

Just wringing round

Hearing sounds like

uh uh

 

Finding peaks half way

Finding buttons

Down rays

Of sparkling dark

night

 

Lithesome tag

He realize it

And he’s got you twirling

round and round

His life

Right now

 

To surreptitious

Unshared

Yet, with Bee you

Bare

Everything

 

Even though it’s still dim

You covet him

Down there

With your lips

You have no wings either

But, delicious

 

He likes your

Comfort

For now yet, only hours

Have knowledge

of this place

 

and no friends can

find any space

to save you

 

iniquity

to some

who would not

dare to come

to this hint

 

you have argued before

that a tag

is for sure

an open door

and now you know

it

 

Bee, he’s not through

With you

Just building lag

For your embodiment

 

When he’s done

When you’ve quit

Are you sure he won’t

Come back

Steal this

 

hush-hush

its just a lithesome tag

and you wanted Bee

to find it…

FORTRAN, formula translator-Lesley

So I am worried about my son going to Costa Rica with his asshole dad

who last year tried to throw him in jail in an airport, brought the cops up to question him

about nothing…they finally asked my boy…is this man bothering you?

 

Now because of some quirk of money the dad, mother fucker, can afford to take him to Costa Rica, and against my own apprehensions I said it will be a good experience……..kinda…..if the boy is arrested in an airport out of the country what do I do?

 

 

 

 

Angle to the left

not knowing what’s next

It’s something I want to say

 

I don’t fucking

Care what day

 

I don’t FUCKING  care

 

Isn’t that what you said

To me over an over again

I do care…

 

In some forbearing way

 

it’s

 

only relative

yeah

Piss Your Pants-Lesley

 

How would that happen?

 

For many of the world besides the United States, it could be

what  happens when a bomb just exploded-

next door of your house,

instead of across the street,

 

Or maybe, in the USA

It could be

Some magnificent  theatrical work,

 

As a kid,

you watch a magician,

pull a rabbit out of a hat,

 

It could be all of that-

Instead of laugh,

Piss Your Pants.

 

 

 

Taffeta, Calico, and Seams-Lesley

The only reason we have cloth at all is because people from the stone age figured out how to weave some of the many fibers they were accumulating after they ate. They were figuring out how to use it not because they needed to; they could have just discarded it, yet they found a use….we are in a world wide depression, I think we should do the same.

 

 

 

A place where pieces join

Sometimes it feels like a

Tear drop

Sometimes

it feels like the rain.

 

 

Really,

you aren’t trying,

to change,

anything,

 

 

Like food, clothing, and shelter,

force you forward,

anyway.

 

 I Know people have hearts, and they go to Big Lots or other stores that are good to buy simple things…

blankets, baby toys, food….there are a lot of local shelters, try your churches for one toy, one blanket, a few cans of food.

merry Christmas to all of us………

Birth of Christ.

Sometimes the World is Full of Shit-Lesley

 

My daughter mentioned to me in one of her poems in this blog asking, when she could stop the world on it’s axis

 

I thought about one…

poem to say…

 

Sometimes the World is Just Full of Shit

 

It sounds plangent,

When you hear yourself;

Say something…

 Then, the street passes by,

And you ask yourself what the…why?

 

At my age, finally,

I only react at all,

To teach,

I don’t even need to ask myself,

“Was I heard?”

 

Really,

Nobody understands themselves

Like “I,”

 

And who am I to judge that?

When sometimes the world is just full of shit.

Scalidi, Scalidi, Scalidi-Lesley

The celebration starts with flutes of Moscato d’Asti-white wine and champagne mixed — a fruity, slightly sweet, spritzy wine (Italians drink it on Christmas morning too) — with home-canned vegetable antipasti and garlic-and anchovy-with crusty bread. Pasta, spinach or broccolini  (BROCCOLI) sautéed with garlic and pour a ½ cup of red wine. Gelato and scalidi — Italian fried cookies

 

 Scalidi, Scalidi, Scalidi

What were you thinking?

 

Warm bread

Warm fried bread

With honey

Isn’t everything suppose to be with honey

All those recipes

 

With honey

All those anniversaries

With honey

Give me more

Honey

 

AND

Fried bread

 

Need the yeast

and the adorning hands

Need the lunch menu

to

Happen when

the bell Chimes at

Christmas

can’t

you hear it

 

Scalidi

I can hear it

Fried bread

It’s Scalidi

Fried with honey-

 

Salute

 

 

Sounds-Lesley

In the past you had to be auditory.

That’s how you heard about it,

to understand ideas, people, and things…

 

 

WAR

ART

 

they are

three letter sounds and primitive,

in six or two,

who knew,

 

When the visual learners took over,

back then,

It was like a sonic boom—

after that,

all Hear Sayers were accosted by

Kings with kinesthetic tribes

Who owned

knights,

crying out loud

about

everything,

that they saw,

eye,

yeah,

to eye,

yeah, imagine that,

heard everything,

and dead,

 

visualize vibes,

instead,

lives back then

even if it came down to

when certain people were suppose to pass it on,

 

everything.

To pass it on…to ?

 

leaders watched,

an old world again,

turn upside down.

In 600’s.A.D.

What?  

 

After That(study),

I started to think

It’s always been that,

turned around,

every time,

 

“What the FUCK do you want me to do about it?”

Libraries and MAMAMMMAMAAAMAMMAAAAs-Lesley

One more peak experiene in my life that happened when I worked in the public library.

 

There was a group of mentally challenged individuals who visited more than

most patrons. One morning at the information desk, I was asked to come over by one man

who said he wanted me to help him,

to help his friend,

email his mother,

When I arrived at the public computer, a man with cerebral palsy sat infront of the screen

holding

a piece of paper in his hand.

When his mother had phoned last she gave him her email…..nice eh?

 

 

One soul

making me cry

Even before

I walked up to him

 

Sitting there

Looking at the screen

An OPAC

Wanting his mama

 

His friend

Had come to me

At the desk,

to say,

 

“My friend

Wants to send

An e mail,

To his

 

MAMAMAMAMAMAMMMMMMMAAA

 

I understood his special needs

But it was

Beyond me

to help them both

Even when I tried 

 

In fact,

I feel,

I failed.

 

MAMAMAMAMAMAMMMMMMMAAA

 

Yeah me.

 

 

Family-Anna

Stressed,
Not because of what life has handed me.
Drained,
Not because of school or my future.

Stressed,
Because of the fighting.
Not only between you and me,
Also between them and me.
Wish to be on an island somewhere in hiding.
If only you could see,
It is not all about you.
It’s about you getting better.
It’s about reawakening what we had too.
Hoping this new change will set their worries free.
They stress about my future,
Then turn around and stress me.
Wishing to stop the world on it’s axis for a moment of peace.
The fog in my mind ceases to stop.
The emptiness in my heart holding my down.
Now all the worries, the stress, and the fighting fills me, making me drown.

Drained,
Because I’m stressed.